Weight is a big deal in our society, right? We are on what seems like an eternal quest for the perfect figure. More than a year ago and a few extra pounds, I wrote a piece called ‘Thin as a rail’. It is linked here but the main idea was that when I was heavier, most people did not mention my weight. The person (a stranger, actually) in the ‘Thin’ piece just had no filter, shall I say? However, now that I have lost weight, it is essentially a free-for-all of weight comments from anyone who is in the mood to make a comment. Some people act like they are genuinely concerned about me. And maybe they are. I also realize this may not always be the case. I just don’t say anything. Are you feeling okay? You have lost a lot of weight, huh? Others say something caustic like You could afford to eat a sandwich, if I order a soup, for example. And the same people mention my weight every time they see me. They often depart with the words, Don’t lose any more weight! Oh, okay, thank you….just for you, I won’t.
The truth of it is why does anyone care what I weigh? Who cares? I don’t care what anyone else weighs. I don’t even know what I weigh. Or when the last time was that I weighed myself. And just to set the record straight: I don’t have an eating disorder, I am not sick and no, I am not on a diet. There. I got that off my chest. I feel better. Well, not really. Because I guess what bothers me the most about weight talk is that I wonder if we all forget about the person inside the body. Whether I am heavy or thin, I am still Mary. And I have feelings and a heart. And a brain. At least I don’t think I gave birth to my brain when I had children. My Dad tells me repeatedly and I know I have told you before, “Mary, in one ear and out the other.” He says this in his stern, gravelly voice and I can hear it in my head. This is sage advice from a man almost 85 years old who seems unfazed by careless comments that come his way but for me and I am sure many of you, insensitive comments still travel through our brains and often the comments or behavior of others sits there longer than we would like.
So as I sit here sipping coffee from a mug with the inscription ‘Let it go’, I guess I am going to have to do just that. Let it go. However, I am almost wishing I had a ‘Let it fester’ version! I recently told a friend how I felt in regard to this subject and she replied, “Don’t be so sensitive”. Ha! That’s a good one. I do not consider myself sensitive. I worked for years in the business of advertising. I am raising two children alone; one is a teenager (need I say more?). I was raised in an Irish home. And I could go on and on. But I won’t. I would be a human piece of Swiss cheese if I let everything get to me. Wouldn’t we all? So what things are people saying about you that bother you? Please weigh in and let me know. Because the weight of the matter is really the heart of the matter. Hmmmm. Food for thought. No pun intended. Seriously. Until next time…..
See? I don’t look like Swiss cheese, do I?
Great insight Mary, and you’re so on point. It’s unfortunate that we as a society are so focused on not just weight, but any physicalities which make us different from each other – the very things that we should embrace.
You might be Switzerland but you’re definitely no Swiss cheese 😉
Thanks Karin! Great point you make about all physical differences. And the Switzerland thing, well, you just gave me an idea for a piece!! Stay tuned!….
Mary, I think you like great! I have the opposite problem every tells me that I am too fat. I am trying to loose weight by eating right. Yes I wish I was ideal weight. …maybe I can achieve this….some day. But you are correct I person needs to be judged by the type of person that they are not what they look like. Looks change and fade but the personality does not. The person is the most important aspect.
Well, thanks Melodie! I think you look great also. Thanks for commenting….We women need to hear from one another and support each other.
Very well said Mary. My thing about weight is the opposite. A lot of people are trying to make me diet, work out and “lose the weight”. Which believe me I’ve tried everyI diet, every workout and as always getOh discouraged and stop. I love when some people even say “wow, you don’t look the same since high school” well who really does look the same 35 years ago (well there are a few that do) , but just to hear that sometimes makes you wonder . Are they saying that cause I am about 75’lbs more than high school?? My dad used to say to me, if someone calls you fat, fatso, blimp, etc., just say “well I maybe fat, but your ugly and at least I can go on a diet” I think I still have the shirt he bought me some years ago. I too am a single mom, a widow and have an a amazing Irish family. So my opinion weight should not be an issue. I feel as though, I’m healthy, happy and enjoying life to the fullest so leave me be.
Thank you Eileen! I am so glad you wrote in and shared your story and feelings. We all need to know how these things make us feel. I think you look wonderful!
Very nicely written Mary. I too have had the up and down weight issue. And I’m a single Mom of a beautiful teenage girl and three very mature young men. I’m sure I won’t get any “don’t lose any more weight” comments. Anyway, this was a very good read and I’ll check your blog more..thanks
Thank you Kathi! I really appreciate your kind comment and yes, keep coming back!! I am sure you would have good topic ideas too….let me know what you are thinking!
Wonderfully written Mary. And it’s esp. important for our teenaged daughters to know they have much more to offer the world than a pretty face and a beautiful body. They need to know their thoughts and feelings are important, and that they count, too. I have to say, I was much relieved when I recently attended my high school reunion, and saw all the people who I had considered to be gorgeous turned out to have the same flaws as myself–whether it be extra pounds, wrinkles, mobility issues, personal struggles of one sort or another. We’re actually closer to each other now, because we’ve gotten past all that surface stuff, and can truly appreciate what’s underneath. And it’s just wonderful to see women lifting up other women!
Thank you so much Seema! I am glad you mentioned how all this talk impacts our daughters and also how reunions highlight how similar we all are! The readers out here will appreciate it!